Posted in Wundee- 25 Sept 1996
Mingo wrote:
> Taking 5 minutes to read this may be one of the best decisions you ever
> make.
Better even than painting the walls of your house black.
> In December of 1994, my business went bankrupt because of the poor state of
> the
> economy.
(OK, I'm making excuses for my poor management. I admit it. I'm so
ashamed...)
> My family, my reputation, my sanity, and my life was at stake.
I even had to fire one of the cooks at my estate in the Hamptons.
> On January 9,1995,
A date that shall live in infamy...
> I saw an article on an internet newsgroup telling me
to change my name to Mingo and become a llama breeder.
> I thought it was a
> huge joke!
And it was! But I didn't realize that until about a week ago.
> We.
(dramatic pause, dramatic pause...)
> Then placed our own
> name and
> address in the article and posted it in 200 other newsgroups.
^^^
Whoa... now THAT says it all...
> Two weeks later, I started receiving llamas
> in the mail! I could not
> believe it!
I didn't know they made envelopes that big!
> Hundreds of llamas
> turned into thousands, and in the four weeks, I received a total of
> 57,883. They
> came from all over the world.
And here I thought they only came from South America...
> If you follow the three steps below, there is no reason whatsoever that why
> the same
> should not happen to you.
Other than a limited worldwide population of llamas, of course.
> OBVIOUSLY IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED, THEN DON'T PARTICIPATE. BUT
> PLEASE PRINT THIS ARTICLE AND GIVE IT TO SOMEONE WHO MAY WISH TO
> TAKE ADVANTAGE.
AND WHO OWNS LOTS AND LOTS OF UNUSED PASTURE-TYPE LAND.
> The procedure is very simple.
> Step 1. Write your name and address on 5 separate pieces of paper with
> the words "Please add me to your mailing list." Fold a llama
> in each of the pieces of paper and mail them to the following 5 addresses:
> 1. Mingo, Blk 679, #01-571, Hougang Ave 8,
> 2. Mingo, 75 Courtney Rd., Dartmouth,
> 3. Mingo, 3399 E. Stone Mountain ln.,
> 4. Mingo, 2501 Lake Austin Blvd J-102,
> 5. Mingo, 1827 58 St.,
> Step 2. Now remove the 1st name from the top of the list and put your name
(remember, you must first change it to Mingo)
> and address as number 5 on the list.
> Step 3. Post your amended article to at least 200 newsgroups. (There are
> 17000 of them)
and try to post it to completely unrelated groups... the less it has to
do with llamas, the less likely it is that they've seen this before, and
the more spare llamas its members will have to give you.
> You are now in the mail order llama
> business and you will start to
be infested with a wide variety of lice and fleas. But that can be easily
fixed; ask your local doctor for details.
> You may want to rent a Post office box to handle the volume of llamas
> you are likely
> to receive.
Better yet, rent a Post Office Stable.
> Enjoy
the Mingo formerly known as Joel T.
Corsac's note: My first major attempt at manipulating spam; it was
submitted to alt.humor.best-of-usenet by Feste, and was accepted.