Loan?

Posted in Odee- 05 June 1999
 

Mlynch wrote:
> ANYONE KNOW HOW TO GET A LOAN WHEN YOU HAVE NO
> CREDIT?

Yes. Use props to help convince a bank official that you're worthy
of receiving a loan. A gun, for example. Knives, crossbows, atlatls,
and blowpipes are among the other props that can work wonders for
you, but guns are probably the most efficient.

For a more subtle approach, try a liberal application of alcohol,
ganja, or other chemicals that can increase susceptibility to
suggestion. The MOST sophisticated approach involves hypnotism, but
this technique is strongly contraindicated for beginners.

Also, if you're in no hurry and can wait a while for your money,
some people have gotten remarkable results through the technique of
applying for a job at their bank of choice, being hired, lying low
for a while, and then applying any of a variety of embezzlement
techniques. For details on how to do this, consult your local bank
manager; odds are, he or she has plenty of experience in this, and
can help get you started.

Joel T.


Corsac's note: I posted this not knowing that, within a year,
I'd be working in a bank myself.