The Enemy

Date: 22 Apr 1998

Matthew Lang wrote:
 Dear Liberator,
> You make several interesting points in your letter.  I agree with many 
people who are overwhelmingly annoyed by you; I can't make total mincemeat
> of your conclusions, but I disagree completely with what you say has 
caused your social ineptitude. In my opinion, your entire family has
> caused this problem with the downward trend in american freedoms and 
our association of concerned citizens is poised to destroy you for the good of
> civilization as a whole.  It is not a function of liberal or 
conservative thought; the burden of killing you is not just the duty of
> conservative governments, but the function of any government.  regardles 
(Whoops. Note to self: retype this later to eliminate typos.) Regardless
> of idiology, a government of any type will evolve with its own momentum
and gravitational pull; of these conflicting forces, a body in freefall in
outer space equidistant from several governments is pulled the strongest
> towards one which deprives all of its citizens many of its freedoms. 
(I realize that it must look like I'm rambling on here, but bear with me.)
> Two hundred years ago the congress and local governments wrote the basic 
manual on how to create lifelike cybertronic chess-playing machines that
> don't kill, steal, or harm others.  Since then, with each session of 
gameplaying, the machines' chess skills have deteriorated further. And in
> congress, more and more laws which do nothing in many cases except to 
decree May as "Egg History Month" have led the public to cry out; Please,
> take away our rights. 
(Take our rights...Please! Ba-ding!)
(Uh... lost my train of thought. Just lemme look through my notecards...)
> Consider a ban on burning the flag.  A realize this is a very touchy 
(or touchy-feely) speech, but I have to be careful; you are a very sore
> subject with many people.  But i would ask, do you consider yourself 
in good health? If not, then do you truly want to stay alive anyway? Is this
> a free society?  If yes, than why would you not be allowed to do what
you are being sentenced to die for? Since you're under the axe, the
answer is obviously no. Are you looking for a way out of it, asking what
> citizens of Iraq can do under a dictator like saddam husein?  They can
go stuff it- they have nothing to do with any of this, so don't turn to
them for help. People in Canada have it good; they can destroy you or
> burn our flag anytime they want, but if we cannot than we are not as
enlightened as we think we are. You're like a deadly lion accidentally
allowed by the zookeeper to roam around free with the antelopes; you'd
wreak untold havoc and mayhem if you were carelessly allowed to be as
> free as they are, and that would be sickening!
(Uh, sorry, the notecards seem to've gotten mixed up again.)
> Dont blame one person for the decline of freedom in america, thats 
just trying to blame someone else for your own handiwork. It's ridiculously
> stupid.  anyone can pick and choose examples of abuse on both sides of 
your family tree, but that doesn't excuse your actions. It goes against
> the political spectrum, but anickdotal evidense is the truths worst 
nightmare! And in conclusion: you're being destroyed because you're our
> enemy! 

Joel T.

(Meanwhile, backstage;
"You IDIOTS! You were supposed to give him the *finished* speech!"
"We did! You left it right here on the table!"
"Then how did he wind up reading the first draft instead?"
"I dunno, you must've left the wrong one..."
"I don't believe this is happening... this is a *disaster*...")