Mo money!

Date: 3 Feb 2000 
Corsac's note: IMHO, my best attempt to manipulate spam.

 (Blind354) wrote:
> A little while back, I was browsing through newsgroups, 
scratching my ass, wondering at the mess my life had become,
> just like you are now, and came across an article similar to
'the', but less definite, which I'd never seen before. Since
I wanted to learn more about it I went to a search engine to
look for it and found over a million matches! Obviously, this
was something big. The first one I checked was a letter like
> this that said you could make thousands of dollars within
> weeks with only an initial investment of $6.00!
> So I thought," Yeah, right, this must be a scam",
But since I hadn't figured out yet what 'a' meant, I couldn't
understand that thought. I was going to continue my search,
> but like most of us, I was curious, so I kept reading. 
Unlike most of us, I actually believed what I was reading.
> Anyway, it said that you send $1.00 to each of
> the 6 names and address stated in the article. You then place
longhorns on your head, dress yourself in skins, go out on the
street, and threaten to gore people. Steal the wallets/purses
of the first 5 people who faint, look inside to find their
addresses, and use them to create a new list. Then, you put
> your own name and address in the bottom of the list at #6, 
if you haven't been arrested for doing the steps given above,
> and post the article in at least 200 newsgroups. (There are
> thousands) No catch, that was it. So after thinking it
was about to start earning me money, I was surprised to see
my email account flooded with rather alarming threats and vile
imprecations, and my account suspended shortly thereafter. I
figured I must've done it wrong, so I decided to do the whole bit
> over, and talking to a few people first, I thought about trying
to improve the system; I bought 5 P.O. Boxes under fake names so
I could get more money by having a list with all my addresses on
> it.
> I figured what have I got to lose except 6 stamps and $6.00, 
my dignity, my freedom, and the respect of my family and friends,
> right? Like most of us I was a little skeptical and a little
drunk. One night when I was at a bar, smashed, I was dialing
random numbers for prank phone calls and happened to dial a
lawyer, so I took the opportunity to tell him all about this
little scheme. He was shocked and said that I should be very
> worried about the legal aspects of it all. So I checked it
> out with the U.S. Post Office (1-800-725-2161) and they
were horrified, but that wasn't what I wanted to hear, so I
hung up and called my bookie ( a guy called High Roll), who
> confirmed that it is indeed legal! Then I invested the 
money and celebrated by going out and getting a hooker for a
> measly $6.00. Well GUESS WHAT!!... within 7 days, I started 
getting a terrible itching in my groin. I'd much rather've been
> getting money in the mail! I was shocked! I figured it
would just go away, but it didn't. I ended up being given a
new drug treatment by my doctor, and it cured the itching all
right, but also burned away at my stomach and kidneys from
inside. Before long I was part of a class-action lawsuit against
the drug manufacturer, and people from all over started sending
me money to help out with the legal fund! I thought that it
> would end soon, but the money just kept coming in. In my first
> week, I made about $25.00. By the end of the second week I 
was in so much pain I was barely conscious, but they told me I
> had made a total of over $1,000.00! In the third week I 
was starting to go into kidney failure, but the legal fund now
> had over $10,000.00 and it's still growing. This is now my
> fourth week and I have made a total of just over $42,000.00
> and it's still coming in rapidly. It's certainly worth the 
price of a functioning pair of kidneys, and all it cost was
> $6.00, and 6 stamps.
And I owe it all to not knowing a simple, common indefinite

Joel T.